.| the [little] things give you away

[nicotardle.]

It had been almost two weeks since Kaige had last seen Salena. There were no signs that she had stuck around the outside of his house or nearby in the forest and he had not heard a word from her. He had to admit it was a little strange not having her around now, having been used to seeing her every day from the time they ran into each other up until the day he told her they needed to go their separate ways for a little while. He hoped she hadn't done anything stupid, but that was out of his hands. He also wondered if she was alright, but there was no way of finding that out either. He would just be left in the dark like he had been with other things for the past century.

Having all this time to himself had caused him to do a lot of thinking. While he would never admit to it, he did care about her. He may have had a funny way of showing it, but he did. He just couldn't give her what she was wanting. He figured if maybe he was nothing but a jerk to her, she would eventually give up, but he should of known better. He didn't know what it would take to get her to move on, if it was even possible in the first place. However, he was surprised that she had actually listened to him. He had almost expected her to come after him when they last saw each other, but she hadn't. Maybe she was starting to figure it all out now, but what did he know? He was just another asshole, someone who didn't care. If only people were able to get into his mind, then maybe they would finally get it.

Being by himself also allowed him to catch up on his work, which he had finally finished and sent off. He hadn't been doing much of anything else. Going into the city didn't really interest him, especially since he didn't know if anyone from the hospital was still looking for him. It had been quite awhile now, surely if they were looking for him, they would've given up by now. He was sure he was fully recovered by now. He hadn't been feeling weak or fatigued and he hadn't been having any pains like he was getting before. His wound had finally healed and left him with a faded red scar - another one to add to the collection. He was just about back to his normal self physically, but something he couldn't quite figure out was bugging him mentally. It was something he just kept shaking off.

With the sun beginning its slow descent to the horizon in the distance, Kaige took a step outside, leaning against the door-frame. Everything seemed peaceful... everything but his mind. A cool breeze blew by, sending a chill down his spine. He didn't know what it was, but he had a feeling... one of those feelings that just made him think something bad had happened or was about to happen. He was unable to figure out what it was though. Shaking his head, he turned his gaze to the forest, staring intently. He almost expected Salena to appear, but he knew that wasn't going to happen. He didn't know where she was or what she was doing, but he hoped she was at least safe.

[/blockquote]

[::WOLFURchik::]

She had finally given up her search for the legendary fire breathing moth. Every turn just took her to a dead end, and every uneventful day just put another hole in her heart. She tried to fill them in by working over time, fixing the wooden walk ways of the city and repairing homes. She even helped build a new house near the edge of the city. The boss was so happy to see the job done so quickly that he gave her a promotion. Now she was working almost around the clock, drawing up plans and ordering the rookies around.

Finally, she had a day off. She was hoping that a day of relaxation would do her some good, but it did just the opposite. Without anything to preoccupy her busy mind, time slowed to a near stop, and she couldn't stop thinking about past events.

Usually, she let her mind think about the good times she had with her mate and pups, before the tragic events unfolded. She would remember how Dagger hated when Karin burned the elk they were going to eat for dinner. She would remember how cute Roze looked when she sneezed after sniffing a flower, or how Uzu would chase his own reflection in the water. But today, her mind kept going back to a more recent event.

Meeting Kaige and Shinrin had seemed like a good idea at first. After all, she had finally met people who understood where she had come from. Unfortunately for her, she didn't know quite how to react around them, and had met their extreme sides. Hearing Kaige explode at her after she had said such a small comment made her very uncomfortable, and she didn't dare to stick around. However, that wasn't the entire reason she didn't go back. It was obvious Shinrin had some deep pain, and Karin wasn't good at handling those sort of things. She could barely handle her own pains.

She laughed to herself when she thought about Kaige bursting through the door and yelling at her, exploding with rage. It reminded her of herself, years ago, when she would literally set explosives for the wolves that would piss her off. Nobody dared to get near her, but they didn't know the whole story. They never knew the pain she was feeling in her heart.

And then she felt bad for what she had done. It was obvious that there was some pain between the two she had met, and she had jumped to conclusions after all. It was the same exact thing that drove her to rage all those years ago. She knew better than to speak up before even getting to know the situation from both sides.

She looked at the hand carved clock on the wall. It was still early... the day was going by slower than she had hoped. She stood to her feet and headed out the door into her garden. The herbs and plants were growing beautifully, and she knew they would be ready to use in her medicines soon. Her most interesting find, however, didn't seem to be growing a bit. It had taken all of her resources to keep it from wilting. She wasn't sure why, but she wondered if it had something to do with the soil, the sunlight, and the environment all together. Maybe the plant didn't belong in the city, maybe the only way it could live was to be in its own habitat.

In a way, it reminded her of her own situation. She felt so far from home, from the forest she had grown up in. Now, she wasn't growing herself. She was doing everything she could just to stay alive. Working to keep her mind off of things, clinging to the bits of memories she had kept over the years... she was just like that plant.

And even though she knew she couldn't go home, perhaps she could at least save the plant. And since it wasn't too far, perhaps she could visit that hermit in the forest, and apologize for causing the anger and confusion. She dug carefully around the plant and uprooted it, then carefully set it in a pot. Holding it closely to her chest, she headed off into the woods to fix her mess.

--

She found the burnt tree that she had marked nearly two weeks prior, and planted the plant right back in the same spot she had taken it from. With a sad smile, she nodded her head, brushing the dirt from her hands. "Well, little friend... I sure hope this helps. Sorry I couldn't help you any." She would try to come by next time she had some time off, to see if it had grown.

She turned and made her way deeper into the forest, towards the direction she remembered she had found Kaige's home in. She spotted it easily. Even though it was made of wood, it stuck out like a sore thumb to her eyes. It was amazing it was still untouched by those nasty crawlers that stalked the forest.

As she approached the house, she could see Kaige's blonde hair, and was glad to see that his storming off into the woods hadn't gotten him killed.

"HEY!" She shouted out, waving her hand vigorously at him. She hoped he wouldn't scurry off into his house and lock the doors.

As she closed in on him, she flashed him one of her famous smiles, the ones that looked so real, but hid so much pain. "Hey, Kaige, could I speak for a moment? I just want to take the time to apologize for the other day. I myself should have known better not to jump to conclusions, really... Could I just have a moment to talk with you? I promise if I upset you again, I'll leave. I wont ever bother you again."

[nicotardle.]

Kaige heard her before he saw her. He had been looking off to the opposite side of where she came from, lost in his own thoughts. Karin's voice snapped him back to reality. At first, he thought it may have been Salena, but when he looked over, he only saw the girl that had mysteriously appeared from the forest almost two weeks ago. He wasn't really disappointed when he saw her, but he didn't exactly look thrilled either. He wore the same bland expression he did with anyone else he came in contact with. It was hard to tell what he was thinking, but most people didn't care to know what was going on in his head.

"What do you want?" he asked, sounding more bored than anything else. He wasn't really mad at her. Not anymore, anyway. He may have overreacted, but it was all done and over with. "Come to cause more trouble or tell me more about how I'm such a jerk?" He turned his gaze to her, his expression still the same. "Save your breath because I already know." He looked back to the forest, eyes narrowing slightly as his jaw tightened. He wasn't all that interested in talking to her, but he had nothing better to do. Maybe she would say what she wanted to say and then leave. Then he could be alone again, just like always. A life of solitude was something that he knew very well and he had no objections with going through it all over again. Same shit, different day.

[/blockquote]

[::WOLFURchik::]

Karin laughed nervously. "No, no... I really just came to apologize. I hope I can make it up. I really didn't mean to cause a scene." She tried to chose her words carefully, remembering how easily Kaige and Shinrin had let their emotions control them.

When she caught up with him, she couldn't help but notice that he seemed even better looking than he had last time. He looked healthier, in a way. She laughed to herself, thinking about how ridiculous she must have sounded in her mind, and then she remembered that Kaige could read minds.

"So... I'm sorry, for jumping to conclusions, and causing trouble." She apologized. "All though, trouble always seems to find me..." She added almost inaudibly to herself. She shrugged her shoulders. "I will be sure to control my jumping-to-conclusions-reflex in the future. I know how it feels to have somebody invade in your life like they know everything thats happened to you... it used to happen to me all the time."

She laughed, remembering her old self. "You didn't get nearly as upset as I used to! I'd burn a portion of the forest down at least once a week." She shook her head. "Believe it or not, I used to be a hot head. Kind of makes sense when you think about my powers..." She shrugged again, then smiled innocently at Kaige.

"Anyway, I hope you can give me a second chance... Oh, where is Salena? I'd like to apologize to her as well. Is she around?"

[nicotardle.]

Kaige eyed Karin from the corner of his eye, debating over whether or not she was telling the truth. He could have easily gone into her mind to see if it was true, but he felt no desire to. He would just go with the assumption that she was being honest. Hadn't she said something about being truthful about things anyway, or something about going into her mind to see for himself? He couldn't remember, but she could easily think up a lie if he were to do the mind thing. "No big deal," he replied nonchalantly. It really wasn't that much of a bother to him anymore. It had happened nearly two weeks ago - he was over it. "What happened, happened. It's all done and over with and in the past now." He shrugged and shifted his weight to the left side of his body, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

He could see Karin looking at him and he turned his gaze back to hers. "You like looking at me." It was more of a statement than a question. He had picked up on it before, especially after finding out that she thought he was 'devilishly handsome.' The thought was still funny to him, but he wasn't about to show any signs of humor. "Again," he spoke up, brushing the thought away, "it's not a big deal. We're human." He paused for a moment and shook his head, still finding it weird to be something other than a wolf. "We all make mistakes. You didn't really invade it..." He shrugged again, looking back to the forest. "You just... came through and made assumptions. Just another part of being human, though wolves aren't innocent of it either," he said, thinking back to those days.

He pushed his side off the door frame and put his back up against it, dropping his head. "I might not have the ability to burn down forests or anything crazy like that, but I can do stuff." He snorted lightly, thinking back to some of his many angry explosions. "I have a way with others when I'm pissed off, I suppose, and you don't know which angry side of me you're going to get. There's the one you witnessed, which wasn't nearly as bad as it normally is, or there's the silent angry." He looked up and laughed quietly, though he didn't really find it funny. "I've been told the second one is worse than the first, but I don't really see how."

At the mention of Salena, he straightened himself up, shaking his head. "She's not here," he said, a frown beginning to form across his lips. "I haven't seen or heard from her since I told her we needed some time apart. If I could, I'd use my ability to find her by reading her thoughts, but she's too far away. It only works when they're in viewing distance... unless there is a way to do it and I just haven't figured it out." He looked over to the forest, his frown deepening. "I'm sure she's alright though..." That was a lie. He had the sneaking suspicion that she either was about to get into some sort of trouble or she had already gotten in to trouble, but there was nothing he could do and no way he could prove it.

[/blockquote]

[::WOLFURchik::]

Karin's chucked flushed a bit at his "you like looking at me." comment, burning brighter than they should have due to her heat related abilities. She just smiled and shrugged. He didn't need to read her mind to tell what she was thinking half of the time, it was obvious in her expression.

"I guess I'd better be careful not to get you angry, then." She smirked. In no way was she afraid of him, Karin was more of a daredevil than anything. She was just simply... flirting? She shuddered. She sure hoped that wasn't what she was doing. How would Dagger feel about that? She didn't even want to think about it.

"Oh..." She frowned at the mention of Salena not being there. Was that her fault? Did she drive them apart? By the look she caught a glance of, it didn't exactly make Kaige a happy camper. Was there something he was keeping a secret? She decided it best not to pry. After all, she hardly knew the guy.

"I'm aweful sorry if any of that was my fault..." She sure hoped not. By the looks of what she saw, the two weren't exactly the best couple in the world anyway. Besides, according to their stories, they hadn't even been together in a long time. Maybe it was best that the two had made their seperate ways, but then again, what did she know? She had only just met them.

"So you do care about her, hm? I mean, the way it sounds, you at least want to make sure she's alright. That's good. I mean, it means that you aren't totally heartless." She smiled. "Not that I would have thought that from talking to you before. You seemed like a pretty cool guy. I'm sorry things didn't work out between the two of you."

[nicotardle.]

"I don't break things or kill anybody," Kaige replied, moving away from the door frame and down to the steps that lead inside. He sat down on the top one, propping his elbows up on his knees. He couldn't remember ever doing anything extreme like that when he was angry. The most he ever did was get in someones face and yell at them. Other than that, he wasn't really that bad when his anger took over. Of course, that was just his thinking. He didn't really know what other people thought about it, but it couldn't be that bad. He could be worse and be burning down forests like Karin here. That thought made him snort, but he quickly quieted himself and reverted back to his normal state.

He placed his hands together and rested his head upon them, staring out at the horizon, watching as the sun slowly continued to set. "Wasn't your fault," he said shortly, raising his shoulders in a shrug. "She needs to be away from me for awhile, maybe get her head together and move on." Saying that caused him to laugh, but it was more of a sad laugh rather than one caused by amusement. "Who am I kidding?" he said, letting his hands fall down to his knees. He didn't continue on with his thoughts. He knew better than to think Salena would actually move on. She seemed so set on loving him and only him, but she could do better. He sighed and leaned back, resting his elbows on the porch. "I just can't give her what she wants, you know?" he said, shaking his head.

"I don't want her to get her hopes up or anything like that." He ran a hand through his unbrushed hair and glanced up to the sky. "It's not her, it's me. I know how stupid that sounds, but it's true. I just want to do me right now and not be tied down unless I'm absolutely sure about the other person. I wish she'd understand that without thinking I hate her or anything, because I don't." It was rare for Kaige to share his thoughts with someone else, especially someone he hardly knew, but there he was doing it. He didn't really think too much about it. He wasn't afraid that Karin would run off and tell the world. It wasn't anything bad.

"Maybe there's hope for humanity then," he said in response to her saying he wasn't completely heartless. "Then again, maybe there isn't." He fell silent after that, his mind straying off to the many thoughts that oh so often plagued his mind.

[/blockquote]

[::WOLFURchik::]

Karin folded her arms across her chest, a sad smile on her face while she listened to him. She could understand what he meant, if she thought about it hard enough. She remembered how many wolves she had turned down before finding the right one... She didn't turn them down because she hated them, but she knew they could do better than somebody with rage issues and a dark past.

Well, all that and because she didn't want to be tied down by all that romantic nonsense. She had other things to do, and she didn't want to drag anybody into her problems. She just wanted to... be herself. Do what she needed to do. She imagined this was somewhat how Kaige was feeling now. It was a little unfortunate, considering just how lonely she had felt those days...

"Well, you explained how she feels about you... How do you feel about her?" Normally, Karin wasn't one to get into other people's business, but at the same time, she kind of liked talking to this guy. She wasn't quite sure why, and she found it a bit odd, but none the less, she liked it. Maybe it was because of his seer powers. Perhaps she hoped that in some way he could help her, or at least understand her, since nobody else had been able to, besides Dagger.

"I mean, I know you said you just want to live your life right now, and that you want her to be able to move on...And trust me, I totally get that, but how do you feel about her?"

[nicotardle.]

Her question caught him off guard. He hadn't expected to be asked something like that and honestly, he didn't really know how to answer without sounding like a total asshole. "Good question," he responded a minute later, still looking up at the sky. He knew what his answer was, but would she think ill of him if she heard it? Even if she did, why should he care? It wasn't that big of a deal and he wasn't going to lie about anything. "Well..." He paused, piecing together his words in his mind. "I do care about her, even if I have an ass backwards way of showing it, but..." His voice trailed off and he sighed heavily, looking back down to the forest, his expression hard.

"But it's more so on the friend level than anything else," he finally said, nodding his head slowly. "Yeah, I guess that's how I can put it nicely. I mean, I appreciate her hanging around at the hospital when I was knocked out cold and I don't mind her company sometimes, but..." There was another pause as he began to frown. "I just don't think the love is there anymore. I don't really feel it, I guess you could say. I know this is going to sound bad, but if you really love someone, wouldn't you love them no matter what?" He knew there had to be some truth in that. Love wasn't supposed to come and go. "I guess I didn't really love her all that much then. I'm probably just destined to be alone anyway. None of my relationships ever lasted. Something always came up..."

Thinking of that made him fee slightly upset, but he didn't let it bother him for long. "Must come with the power," he said, tapping the side of his head. "Find someone, she leaves without a word. Find someone else, she gets kidnapped or something like that. And then find someone yet again and..." He stopped, his expression showing confusion. "Well, I don't really remembered what all happened with that one, but it didn't last. Might've lasted longer than the other two, but still..." He laughed, though it was another sad one. "Third time is supposed to be the charm, but that wasn't the case with me." He shrugged. "It's alright. I'm used to being alone anyway. Doesn't bother me." It was hard to tell and it was only noticeable if you really studied his eyes, but he was lying. He would never admit it though.

[/blockquote]

[::WOLFURchik::]

Karin nodded slowly, listening to Kaige speak. "Well..." She decided to put her own input in. "You can't force yourself to love her anymore than you can control who you are." She took a deep breath and looked out into the forest. It was aweful quiet today. There was no swaying trees, or birds fluttering about... it was peaceful. A bit too peaceful for her liking. It was almost as if everything in nature was spying in on their conversation.

"Don't blame yourself for how she feels." She added. "If you don't love her, then its best that you two are apart now. You may have been the best thing shes known in her life, but if she can get away and find something different, she just may learn to like it. You got to keep your heart open." She wasn't sure who that last sentence was targeted to... Shinrin, Kaige, maybe even herself. Who knew.

"I can pretend to know a lot of things, but if there is one thing I do know, it's that nobody, and I do mean nobody, should have to get used to being alone." She wasn't sure how or why, but she was picking up a few darker, maybe sad or angry emotions, but she wasn't sure if they were coming from Kaige or herself.

She looked at Kaige long and hard, and she couldn't understand why his life had turned out the way it had. He wasn't aweful to be around, as much as she could tell. She found him attractive to say in the least. He seemed strong, and to top it all off, he had an amazing power. A power that could really see into one's heart... it appealed to Karin. Most of the time, she could only wish somebody out there could understand her. She just didn't understand why Kaige had the life that he had. As far as she could tell, he didn't deserve that. Nobody did.

"It might not mean much, but I'm sorry those wolves left you like that. I don't think I'll ever understand how somebody could to that to anyone." She looked up at the sky, pondering, then shrugged. "Maybe... it just wasn't meant to be. Sort of how you feel about Salena... maybe they hadn't been sure about their feelings for you. I could be totally wrong, I'm just guessing. But maybe you just... havn't had the opportunity to meet somebody you really could love, and who could love you, for all the right reasons."

She looked over at him and frowned. She couldn't pretend to understand exactly how he felt through out his life, but she knew how badly it broke her heart when Dagger died. She had lost that one soul connection, and she thought she would never find another. She thought she would be alone for the rest of her life. Maybe her and Kaige had a little in common.

"Could I share my story with you?" She wanted to look away. Karin hated talking emotions and feelings and all that junk, at least when it came to her own. She had always been seen as so strong, so she hardly ever let anyone see her weak side. But for some reason, she kept her eyes on Kaige as she talked, feeling that he may be the one person to understand her. Maybe she needed a friend.

Without really letting Kaige answer, she began to speak about her old life. "I had that love... It was an inseperable feeling. Like we could be totally honest with each other. No matter how angry I got, he always had a way of calming me down... Its funny, we actually met during a raid. His pack had attacked mine. We were... enemies."

She laughed slightly as she remembered their story, and how they came to be. "Dagger's pack was...ruthless. Extremly evil... heartless... but Dagger was different. He was just there at the wrong time, in the wrong place. He tried to talk the alphess out of killing one of our females. I saw him... The betas attacked him, and left him for dead."

"That comes to another... talent... of mine. I could use plants and herbs in medicines... even as a wolf. I felt bad for him, so after we fought off that pack, I hid him, and cared for him until he was better." She laughed. "He wasn't happy with me in the least bit. I think he would have been happy just dying there, but I knew he didn't deserve that. On the outside, he put up a tough front. He tried to act like a criminal... but I guess you could say I saw right through him. He... intrigued me."

"I kept him hidden in my den for as long as I could, but our alpha found out about him, and let me tell you we were both in big trouble. We should have been kicked out. After years of training to be a general, I got demoted to a regular warrior. Before they could do anything to Dagger, the pack attacked again, and went straight for our alpha. Dagger saved his life... and while it earned him great respect and a place in our pack, it also earned him many enimies in his old pack."

She sighed, taking a quick break from her story before continuing on. "A while later, I had a happy family. We were a little odd... but happy. I had Dagger, and two pups. Two beautiful pups..." Her smile faded into a sadening frown. "I mentioned that Dagger had made enemies. Well... they set up a trap for him. They... they kidnapped our pups. Dagger went after them, but they were waiting for him... they killed him on the spot. I never saw Roze and Uzu again... And in just that one day, I lost...everything."

For a moment, she forgot why she was telling this story to a near stranger, then she looked back up and him, and understood why. It was weird, but she wanted to trust him. After all, if he couldn't understand her, then nobody would.

"I devoted my whole life to finding my children, but I never did. I always had this feeling that I could have done something to prevent it from happening..." She paused, trying to recollect her thoughts. "But we can't always control everything. I had to let go of my past... Salena will just have to learn how to let go of hers."

She smiled as though she had gotten over the feeling of losing her family, but in all truth, it still hurt. It was obvious in her eyes. It was easy to read her, just by looking into those golden eyes. She hoped Kaige could understand that she knew how it felt to lose somebody he loved. They both seemed in the same situation, but Karin didn't want Kaige to think he had to be alone forever.

"We have to move on, before we can move forward... sometimes, life sucks. But I still say I don't think anybody is meant to be alone. You don't have to be alone."

[nicotardle.]

"Yeah, I know," Kaige replied quietly. The sun had finally set completely, leaving the area covered in darkness. The moon wasn't out that night, but the stars were shining brightly. Crickets began their nightly musical and somewhere in the distance, an owl hooted. Twigs snapped in pieces and leaves were crunched as the creatures of the night became active. Kaige briefly wondered if there were any giant spiders roaming around now. It was rather dark now, especially since all the lights in the house were shut off. He preferred it this way. The darkness was something he was useful and whether or not it was good or bad, it made him feel a little more comfortable.

"I don't blame myself," he spoke up a minute later. "Like I told her, you can't help how you feel, and I... well, I just don't feel it anymore. I just feel a little bad, I guess," he said, staring intently at the darkened forest. "Who knows with her though. I guess I won't dwell on it." He knew that he probably would though. Whether or not it was a little or a lot, it would happen. It was just something he did - he couldn't help it. He still dwelled on things from his past. Other people may not understand it, but it was a natural thing for him.

"I don't think I'll be keeping my heart open. There's not much of it left anyway and honestly, with the way things happened in the past, I really think I'm supposed to be on my own. It's alright." He could have sworn he saw a pair of glowing eyes in the forest, but when he looked again, they were gone. His imagination must have been messing with him yet again, but he had been seeing too many strange things lately. It was hard to tell what was real and what was fake anymore. "Don't be sorry," he said as he adjusted his position, leaning back against the railing to face her. "It's not your fault they left. But maybe you're right. If it was meant to be, I'd still be with one of them. And here I am, alone. So..."

His voice trailed off and he fell silent as he looked up to the starlit sky. He didn't really know if he wanted another relationship. Too much had happened in his life to make him think that they weren't really worth it in the end. "Honestly," he spoke up, still staring up at the sky, "I don't think I want to do the whole love thing again. I just don't think it's worth it. Why spend so much time with one person only to find out they don't really love you or you don't really love them?" In all honesty, he didn't want to go through it again because he was afraid of it. Of course, being how he was, he wasn't going to admit to that. At least not right at that moment.

He was about to respond to her question, but she gave him no time. He had actually wanted to ask her what her story was, but didn't know if it would be right of him to ask. They didn't really know each other, after all. He listened silently, a frown forming as she went on. Some of what she said sounded similar to things he had gone through, just in a different way. He could relate to the pup thing somewhat. Only one of his and Kali's pups had been taken, but he had tracked the kidnapper down and killed her - her being one of Kali's sisters. "Huh," was all he managed to say after awhile, dropping his gaze back down to the ground. "Maybe we have more in common than we think."

He shrugged, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. "I know I don't have to be alone," he said with a half hearted smile. "I just choose to be." He had his reasons, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to share them with her. She would probably just laugh at him anyway. It was a rather irrational fear after all, and he had never shared it with anyone else before.

[/blockquote]

[::WOLFURchik::]

Karing gave Kaige a small, sad smile. "You're just a stubborn old goat, arn't you?" She didn't say it in a mocking tone, but more of a sad tone. She felt a little sorry for Kaige. She could tell there were some emotions he wasn't talking about, and she felt bad that he wasn't interested in finding that real love. Being something she had known before, she knew how important it was. Thinking about it made her heart ache. She missed those days...

"Well, I'm sorry that you feel that way... When you do find the right one, at the right time, its something you realize you can't live without. Its funny how love can do that to a person..." Her smile faded away. "I always think about how my life would have been without Dagger, and honestly... it scares the hell out of me. With him, I felt safe. I mean, I've always been able to stand up for myself... it was just something about having somebody right there at all times that made all my worries just disapear."

"And more than that, I finally found somebody who could control my anger. He was everything I couldn't be. Literally my other half... I know that phrase is all too common, but its true. And now that he's gone, I just don't feel... whole..." She glanced away. A light wind picked up. She liked the feel of it against her warm skin. The songs of the crickets always soothed her. It was weird, how comfortable she felt with this almost stranger. Maybe it was just the dark forest, bringing her back home...

She quickly wiped away a stray tear, and laughed. "I've never really been known to get emotional like this... I'm really sorry. Usually I just... do my job and live my life. I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable." In all honesty, it was making her slightly uncomfortable. She was a little angry with herself, allowing herself to talk so openly to this stranger. She had always been so good at hiding all that mooshy stuff, so what was so different now? It made her a little sick.

[nicotardle.]

"That I am," Kaige replied with a short laugh. "You're starting to pick up on that already. You're a fast learner." He was too stubborn for his own good, but he couldn't help it. It was just in his nature. However, when it came to love, he wasn't necessarily stubborn, just fearful. He hated being afraid of something as ridiculous at that, especially since he was a guy. What guy was afraid of that? Thinking about it, he figured there was at least a few more, but he still couldn't help but feel a little stupid about it. He didn't know if he would tell her or if he would keep it his own little secret. If he told her, the worst she could do was laugh at him, and what was so bad about that? Sure, he might be humiliated, but he could play it off well.

"I'm going to tell you something," he spoke up, finally making up his mind. "And you can laugh at me all you want, I don't really care, but..." He paused, shaking his head. He was starting to feel ridiculous already. "When it comes to the whole love thing again, I'm afraid of it. There. I said it." He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, keeping his eyes trained on the forest. "I don't want to fall in love again only to end up being left alone without even a goodbye or... just have something happen. I don't know, it's stupid." He laughed again, but it wasn't because he thought it was funny. It was more out of frustration than anything. "I guess that's why I'm such a hard ass now. Who knows."

He sighed, listening to both her speaking and the noises coming from the forest. He had never went walking around in there during the night and he could only imagine what was crawling around there now that it was dark. The thought of not knowing sent a chill down his spine, but he wasn't sure why. He wasn't scared of anything other than what he just admitted to. "You're fine," he said, turning back to her with a seemingly distracted look on his face. "I don't normally talk about this stuff myself. Hell, I don't talk much at all and here I am talking to you, a girl I barely know." He half smiled. "You've already managed to get more out of me than anyone else I've know and you're nothing but a stranger to me. Maybe that means something." He shrugged. "Or maybe I'm just an idiot. It's probably that."

[/blockquote]

[::WOLFURchik::]

After hearing Kaige announce his secret fear, Karin crossed her arms over her chest and nodded her head slowly. She didn't laugh, or think it was weird. She somewhat knew how he felt. She feared love, though for a different reason. She didn't want to betray Dagger, and she always felt that if she found someone else, she would be doing exactly that.

"That's stupid." She blurted out. "Not the fear. Just the fact that you think it's stupid to feel that way. Fearing love is totally rational in my opinion. I think if I ever went through that, I'd feel the same way. Heck, I'm afraid as it is. I'm afraid of making the same mistake... finding a family, and then failing to protect them. I guess that's why I've been so distant... Its probably my only fear. Other than bees. Those things creep me the hell out." She made the last statement in hopes of lifting the mood a little. She hated how lame she was sounding, but she was glad to finally be getting some of it off her chest.

She jammed her hands into her pockets and leaned back, grinning. "You mean like, maybe I'm special?" She laughed. "I doubt it. I wouldn't call you an idiot. Crazy maybe." She joked. "I just may have called you an idiot if you had stayed with that girl you don't love. That would have just been stupid." She shrugged, and smiled. She batted away a few loose strands of hair away from her face and looked back at Kaige. Even in the moonlight, she could see his scars.

"How did you get those scars?" She asked curiously. Only until after she asked did she realize it was probably a rude thing to ask. "No, I'm sorry. You don't have to answer that. I was just... wondering."

[nicotardle.]

It was a relief knowing that she didn't think he was a fool for having such a ridiculous fear. Ridiculous in his eyes, anyway. "I think it's stupid for me to be afraid of it in the first place, but..." He paused and shrugged. "I guess there's really not a whole lot I can do about it. I'll just be a huge wuss by myself." He nodded, adding in that last part as a joke, though he wasn't kidding about the being alone part. He didn't expect to be with anyone else while he was still living. It was just how he saw it, though he could've been wrong. Life was full of surprises, although he seemed to get bad surprises more than good ones.

"Bees aren't that bad," he said, cracking his knuckles and stretching out his legs. "They're dead after they sting you anyway and it only hurts for a second. I'd be more worried about those giant spiders crawling around in that forest. I bet there's one lurking around in the shadows right now, probably watching us and thinking how great of a meal we'd be. Two for the price of one. What a deal, huh?" He laughed quietly, but he didn't really think it would be funny to become a giant spiders late night snack.

"Gotta be something to be able to get this much out of me," he said with another one of his famous half smiles. "Unless you weren't entirely truthful about your powers... maybe you're controlling my thoughts and everything right now and forcing me to say all of this." It was nice being able to joke around with someone for once instead of arguing with someone constantly. "I suppose you're right," he agreed, nodding slowly. "It would be stupid to stay with someone when you don't feel the same way about them. I don't know. Some people are strange though. They'd stay with someone else just to make that person happy even if they weren't happy themselves." He shrugged. "As bad as it may sound, I'm not one of them."

He was starting to feel less like a jerk now after talking to Karin. At least she understood where he was coming from. She didn't seem to be judging him from what he could tell. He shook himself from his thoughts and glanced down to the two scars he could easily see. "No big deal," he said, looking over to her. "I'm not ashamed of them or anything. I'm not trying to hide anything." He looked back down to his chest. "The most recent one is from a gun. Some random stranger decided he wanted to shoot me while I was out buying a pack of smokes before..." He paused for a moment, debating over whether or not to add in what he was doing. "Before I was supposed to meet Salena on one of those... date things humans call it. Got it a few weeks ago. It knocked me out for about a week and apparently, my heart stopped for a little bit."

He looked down to the healed wound and traced a finger over it, frowning slightly. "The various... less impressive ones, we'll call them, I don't remember how I got them exactly. I'm going to assume I got into one too many arguments as a young wolf. And... for the main event..." He ran his finger down the largest and most noticeable scar he had. "This one came from the wolf who killed my family and pack mates. He found me years later and wanted to kill me. And... well... he did, but..." He paused again, staring down at where it ended. "But I was brought back by Salena, only she was Shinrin then. I hated it at first, but..." He shrugged. "I got over it." He turned his gaze to the forest and even though it was dark, his darkened expression was visible. "He's still out there," he said, his tone different and his voice low as he referred to Thanatos. "He's tried to kill me twice. He's the one who stopped my heart when I was in the hospital. He won't rest until I'm dead."

[/blockquote]

[::WOLFURchik::]

"Pfft." Karin chuckled. "Those measly spiders? I could kill those in my sleep." She wasn't entirely joking. "And you obviously have not seen the Taikai Ueki version of a bee either... one sting from one of those would pierce a hole straight through you." She stared at him seriously for a moment, then burst into a mini fit of laughter. "I'm joking really. I just hate black on yellow stripes. Creeps me out." She shrugged. She didn't mind talking about it. She found it amusing.

She listened to him as he pointed out his various scars. It was weird to think that there was some wolf who might still have hold on him. Though she realized it must have been possible, considering they were all still here. There was something about this land, and the Forgotten Forest that just had magical properties. And that wasn't always necessarily a good thing.

"That has to be hard to deal with." She thought about Dagger, and how he was constantly hunted down. She hated the thought that there were people, and wolves, out there who couldn't just leave people the hell alone.

She looked down at her arms. They had been covered by the black fingerless gloves she always wore when she was around others. She was ashamed of what was under them. Slowly, she slipped one glove off, and held up her arm. It was painted with twisted burn scars.

"These are my scars..." She spoke sadly, looking up at Kaige and staring him in the eyes. "I got them when I first became human... I was so angry with myself for all I had done... for all I hadn't done. I tried to burn myself alive." She laughed, twisted emotions evident in her cackle.

"Aren't I just a ball of happiness and smiles?" She quickly slipped the glove back over her arm, tightening it with a sigh. "Its sad, really. I'm my own worst enemy." She glanced down, staring at the earth beneath her feet. It was the first time she had ever revealed anything about the pain she caused herself. It wasn't just once she had given it a try. Karin had burned her arms at least five times that she could remember. The seering pain always brought her back to reality, always kept her focused, but it was one of those things she couldn't stand.

"And I wasn't entirely truthful about my powers either. I can do something else." She changed the subject. "I just don't like to show it off very often."

[nicotardle.]

Kaige stared at her strangely, wondering why the hell the stripes of a bee bothered her. He chose to not say anything about it. He was sure she had a legitimate reason for it, but he would just find out another day. "Maybe there really are giant bees around here," he said, looking back out to the forest. "There are giant spiders... and a giant, fire breathing moth according to you. Why shouldn't there be giant bees? And giant..." He paused and thought about it for a moment. "Well, there are probably other giant things out there. I don't really want to find out what it is, whether it be dangerous or not." He shook his head. "If it's big enough to make a snack out of me, I want nothing to do with it."

He pushed himself up from the steps and stretched, popping his back in the process. "Eh... I've grown used to it," he said as he dug into his pocket and pulled out a rubberband. "He only shows up once in a blue moon and since he's already come by recently, I shouldn't be seeing or hearing from him for quite some time." He spoke so casually he made it seem like it was a normal thing. With a faint smile, he pulled his hair back into the rubberband, leaving a few strands along the sides of his face. "Of course, I could be wrong. He could show up right now if he wanted to. I'm just going by what I've dealt with over the years." He walked up the stairs and stepped inside for a moment, switching on the outdoor light. The lack of light was beginning to bother him, but he didn't know why.

Leaning back against the column that connected the roof above them to the porch, he crossed his arms over his chest and stared at her scars curiously. "Huh," he muttered, frowning slightly. "And here I was thinking you had to wear those to keep others from catching on fire if you touched them." His frown deepened and he looked away. "Well.. I learn something new every day." He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, tapping his boot against the wooden porch. "I'm no better. I think we're all our own worst enemy," he said a second later, looking back to her. "I mean, yeah, someone could do something unforgivable to us, but when it comes down to it, the only person who can really hurt themselves the most is ourselves." He paused, his frown still there. "Or maybe I'm just talking out of my ass. Just ignore me."

He looked out passed her shoulder, listening to more of the sounds coming from the forest. He briefly wondered when Thanatos would appear again, but then decided he wouldn't dwell on it. He had enough problems as it was. "What is it?" he asked, turning his attention back to her. "Was I right about you controlling me to hear all my deep dark secrets? Not that you've heard all of them... but that's for a rainy day.. if you're lucky."

[/blockquote]

[::WOLFURchik::]

Karin laughed. She didn't bring up the conversation about that wolf that kept attacking Kaige. She felt he might not have been totally honest with his feelings about it, and she didn't want him to have to dwell on the matter.

"No, no. Nothing like that." She laughed. "I don't think I'd be in the position I'm in if I had that ability." She shrugged. "Its nothing special, like yours... but I am partial to it." As she stared at Kaige, something black seemed to be sprouting from between her shoulder blades. She didn't say a word about it, she figured Kaige could just see for himself. Within moments, fully grown, black as a raven, wings had sprouted from her back. She flapped them innocently, stirring up the air.

"These are just one of the things that carried on from my wolf days." She chuckled. "You don't see too many humans with a pair of these. I think it makes me unique, anyway." She folded them neatly behind her, enjoying the feeling of soft feathers against her bare back. "I can control whether to show them or not. Most people just see a tattoo, but... they're the real deal."

She untucked them and folded them over her shoulders, finally fed up with the cool wind. The moonlight bounced off of the feathers, creating an faint glow around herself. "I should be called the flying fireball!" She joked.

[nicotardle.]

"Well, that's good to know," Kaige replied, pretending to be relieved. "I wouldn't want to knowing about some of the things I've done." He was only half kidding. He had done a few things he wasn't proud of, but wasn't it like that for everyone? "My power isn't that special," he said as he slid down against the column, ignoring the scraping feel the wood caused against his back. He watched her curiously, wondering what it was that she was going to do. Of course, if he really wanted to know, he could've taken a look into her mind, but where was the fun in that? He just hoped she wasn't going to catch him on fire or do something else crazy like that. He really wasn't in the mood to be burned.

Fortunately for him, nothing like that happened. He stared at the wings for a moment, his expression blank, before his nose crinkled slightly and he made a face. "Gross," he muttered, shaking his head. He stopped for a moment, realizing what he said sounded rude. "I mean, I don't mean gross," he spoke hastily, trying to make it sound better. "I just mean.. uh.. I never really cared for the whole wing thing as a wolf. I thought they were pretty annoying and got in the way," he said, knocking his head back onto the column. "I'm not trying to offend you. Really, I'm not. It's not your fault I don't like them and I'm not going to think differently of you. I just..." He stopped, realizing how much of an idiot he sounded like. He didn't even know why he was rushing to apologize in the first place. It was very unlike him.

"I'm going to shut up about it now," he said with a nod, dropping his gaze down to his lap. "Sorry," he added in for good measure. He looked around, wondering what time it was. It had to be getting late. "Well," he spoke, standing back up. "I'm sure you've got better things to do than talk to a stubborn old idiot who's afraid of love. You don't have to stick around if you don't want to, especially after what I just said." He shrugged. "I'm not trying to get rid of you or anything, just letting you know... although I'm sure you'd leave if you really wanted to. I wouldn't want to deal with me either."

[/blockquote]

[::WOLFURchik::]

Karin stared at him for a few moments, a frown on her face, her glare locked onto Kaige. She only acted offended. In reality, it was no biggy. She listened to his apologize, but it only made her want to laugh. He didn't look like the goofy kind of guy, but he was sure acting it.

After he was finished speaking, she let her wings unfurl, and swatted him with one of them, hoping to only throw him off balance a little. "It's alright, I don't much care for blonde hair. I'm more of a tall, dark, and hansome kind of gal." She joked, though she wasn't sure quite why. Normally, she would have gotten angry if somebody talked bad about her wings. It was one of the things that Dagger loved about her.

As quickly as she had sprouted them, the wings retreated into her flesh, leaving only a tattoo-like marking that painted itself across her shoulder blades. "Dis 'em as much as you'd like to. Until you've actually flown, you could never appreciate them anyway." She smiled and shrugged.

"You're wrong about one thing. I really don't have anything better to do. Buuuut, seeing as how its getting late, it would probably be best if I did get going. I'd better hurry if I want to get in on the spider hunting." She grinned. She meant it as a joke, but in all honesty, it was the one reason she still travelled on foot. Fighting a giant spider was thrilling, and it sure as heck beat working any day.

She smiled and held her hand out to him, like she had done when she had first met him. Only this time, she seriously hoped he would shake her hand. "Well Kaige, believe it or not, I actually enjoyed talking with you. I'd hate to admit it, but... I really think it helped. Its been a long time since I've been able to talk to somebody. You must be pretty special yourself if you got that much out of me." She grinned.

She turned away and began to walk away. Before she could get too far though, she stopped and turned her head. "Hey, Kaige! I sure hope I can come by some other time? Maybe you can teach me a thing or two about building these things." She motioned towards the house. She wasn't sure why she was so trusting of this guy, and it was a weird feeling, but she at least hoped she had just made a friend.