Stay in the Clearing

[::WOLFURchik::]

Salena frowned at Kaige, watching him slowly unravel into this almost emotional being. She had seen Kaige's many side. She saw him angry (more often than not), disguisted, and confused. She had seen him lead, love, and fight for what he felt right. But this was the first time she had seen him so... pathetic? Sad? Weak?

Like looking in a mirror...

She frowned. This wasn't Kaige. This isn't how she wanted to see him. She squatted down infront of him, hands on her knees and keeping perfectly balanced. Like usual, the breeze lifted her thin, black hair into her face, and she swatted it away. Her blue streak settled next to her eye, and she ignored it for the time being.

Then she looked into his eyes. Her own, cerulean painted eyes sparkling in the stray rays of sunshine that poked through the trees.

"Kaige, I don't care that you've been a jerk to me. And honestly, I deserved it. I couldn't even see how much pain I had put you in. I was blinded by my own stupidity and selfishness. I wont say it didn't hurt-many of the things you said. I never wanted to quit loving you."

"Can you blame me?" She added with a slight chuckle. "My whole life, I was nothing but hated and feared. Kicked out of my own family, too weak to be considered part of any pack I came across... until a devilishly hansome alpha took me under his wing. He was quite the charmer... powerful, smart, an all around good guy. How the hell could I not fall in love with him?!"

Finally tiring from her squatting possition, she plopped herself on the ground and folded her legs out infront of her, sitting eye to eye with Kaige. The grass felt soft under her feet, and she ran her toes through it. Each time she did, the grass seemed to grow a bit brighter.

"The truth is, Kaige... is that I've tried to stop loving you. But everytime I see you, I'm reminded of all those charming aspects again. I've been treated like hell my whole life, you think I couldn't handle it? I took the pain, because I knew that no matter how much it hurt, you were the nicest person I had ever met." She spoke softly, and ended in a small, sad laugh.

"Kaige, I love you because you arn't afraid to be you. You are strong, encouraging... when, you know... you aren't busy hating me, and..." She paused. A leaf had floated into her hair, and she reached up and raked it from her thin, moppy, somewhat curly-ish hair. She sighed, wondering if he was actually listening to anything she was saying. She sure hoped so.

"Everyone I ever knew has hurt me one way or another. But all the pain you could cause to me could never amount to the pain I felt when I was alone. You showed me what it was like to be loved, and to love... and then, to never have that again..." She exhaled quickly, and swallowed, refusing to let the tears flow. "That pain was unbearable. I would have rather never been born!"

She looked away from him, into the bushes. Her ears caught the sounds of birds chirping nearby. She wondered if they were regular sized, or giant, cuz she was fucking done with giant.

"I guess you can't help who you fall in love with..." Salena whispered, half reminding herself, half just thinking outloud. She looked back up at Kaige and bit her lip. "If... if you are truly giving me the decision, I-I want to stay."

She reached forward, then hesitated. Fear bubbled in her heart. She was so tired of fear. She wanted to be strong. She scratched around for any bit of courage she could find left over in that broken heart of hers. Then without further hesitation, she reached out and attempted to grab hold of Kaige's hand.

"I want to stay."

[nicotardle.]

It was a rare moment when Kaige was close to the breaking point. He normally kept all of his feelings and thoughts to himself, but they were slowly beginning to unravel. He was probably more vulnerable at this point than he had ever been, although being himself, he was going to try and keep himself together. With her being so close to him, he normally would of gotten up and moved elsewhere, but there were no signs that he was going to move anytime soon. He was nothing but a lump, a lump that - amazingly - had feelings. Feelings that were finally beginning to make their way to the surface of his normally stone cold demeanor.

He heard her speaking, but he remained silent. He attempt to avert her gaze, but was unfortunate in doing so. He normally wasn't one to make eye contact or any sort of contact for that matter. He was unsure of what to do with himself at this point. Maybe it was time to give up the jackass image and try to be a decent human being for once. It wasn't like he was going to be gone anytime soon, so why not? "You're a liar," he said, looking at her with a vague expression. "You care a little bit." He shrugged. "But what do I know?" He reached back and took the rubberband that was holding his hair back and pulled it out, running a hand through the tangled mess.

"You must be on something if you thought I was... charming," he said, raking his fingers through his hair in an attempt to make it look decent. "I was far from it... really far from it. I wasn't that great then, I'm not that great now. I'm a nobody and that's probably how it's going to be for the rest of my sad little life." He stretched his legs out, careful not to hit her, and placed one on either side of her. "I suppose it's kind of nice... being this way...," he said, not trying to change the subject. He was still listening to her, just observing some other things. "I can do more things now than I could before." He took his gaze away and looked around at the things surrounding him, then down to himself. He remembered waking up as a human, but having no real memory of how it had happened. It was strange, but he had grown used to it.

"Sorry... getting off track here.." He looked back to her, a frown forming across his lips. His eyes were dull and clouded, a mix of many different emotions. He began to study her then in order to keep himself from going back into the depths of his mind to thoughts he tried to keep locked away. It was different seeing her as a person, but it wasn't bad. It was... interesting. He decided he liked it. "I guess you're right...," he said after awhile, taking his gaze away from hers. He didn't want to creep her out by continuously staring at her. He sighed heavily and brought his head to his outstretched hand, hair falling across his face to cover it. He quickly fixed that, pulling it back into a messy ponytail. "If that's what you want... although you seem a little unsure of yourself," he said, looking up at her as he placed his hands down on his legs.

His attention drifted down to his injured arm, having completely forgotten about it. He was unaware of Salena's movements, momentarily distracted by the cut that was covered with specs of dirt and dry blood. He probably needed to get it taken care of, cleaned up at least. "I should probably get..." He paused his words when he felt something on his hand. He thought he was imagining it at first, but when he looked, he saw that her hand was with his. He didn't know what to do. Normally, he would've shaken off these types of things, but this time it was different. This time, he did something he normally wouldn't do. He allowed it. And for the first time in a long time, he did another thing he hadn't done.

He smiled.

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[::WOLFURchik::]

She took a long breath. He hadn't swatted her away. He hadn't gotten up and left. His words left her feeling hurt... hurt that he didn't have the same faith in himself that she saw in him.

"You're wrong." She finally spoke, realizing that her fingers had found themself wound up in his. "I may have low self confidence. I may be weak, lonely, and pathetic... but... I am not a liar."

She closed her eyes, smelling the breeze. the crisp air chilled her skin, but the warmth from Kaige's hand was quickly spreading to the rest of her body, and she felt herself relax. "You were never a nobody." She spoked, her eyes still shut, her senses still soaking up the air around her.

Finally, she slowly opened her eyes. The blueness shone out from her eyelids as she peeked out at him. He was still there. It was some sort of miracle.

"Please don't treat yourself so harshly..." She looked at him, still a little sadly. "You are worth so much more than you realize. And I-"

She paused.

She just didn't know what else to say. She had said everything she felt like saying for the time being. Anything else was irrelevent. She shifted in place, finally repossitioning herself on her knees. "I don't know if it means anything to you..." She spoke nervously.

"But... you mean a hell of a lot to me." Slowly, she leaned foward, and inhaled. Her heart beat quickly out of fear, but there was no way in hell she was about to stop herself. So she leaned in, and kissed him.

[nicotardle.]

It was strange being hand in hand with someone who was ready to rip his throat out just moments ago. Hell, Kaige had been ready to rip her throat out too, but obviously that had changed. It was also strange because this was the first time of 'human contact' he had had since becoming one himself. It was even stranger that it was with her, but it wasn't too bad for the time being. "Okay... whatever you say then," he said with a half shrug. "You have your opinion of myself and I have my opinion of myself. You can say what you want to say, but that doesn't mean it'll change the views I have on myself." He turned his gaze up to the tree tops, staring up at the blue sky hidden between the branches. He briefly wondered what time it was, but it didn't really matter. He had nothing better to do.

"That's nice to know," he said, realizing right after he had said that that it probably sounded sarcastic. "I mean.. it is," he added, looking back down to her. "You're probably the only one who gives a damn about me. I know I really don't. That says a lot about me, huh?" He half laughed, half snorted. He really didn't care too much about himself and it was probably clear. However, he didn't have much time to dwell on that because she kissed him. He was taken aback, probably as she was when he had done it, but a second later, he found himself kissing her back.

It was a strange day.

[::WOLFURchik::]

Salena was glad she took that extra breath before she decided to pucker up, because she was going to make it last. It was odd... this wasn't how things went when they were wolves. But in a weird kinda of way, she...liked it. She untwined her fingers from his and reached around, putting her arms over his shoulders.

He was well built, muscular, but not over doing it, and she liked the way her arms fit over his shoulders, almost as if it was natural. She drew herself in closer to him. All at once, it seemed her courage had been coming back to her.

Finally, she parted lips, forcing herself to take a breather. Then she just looked at him, biting down softly on her bottom lip like she always did when she was nervous. Her cheeks flushed, and she realized for the first time just how close she was sitting to Kaige. And how she had just kissed him. And how he kissed her back.

Things were going so fast, her head was swirling. But this wasn't the first time she had been with him. They had been mates before. They had layed together, cuddled together... but that was in a different world and time. This didn't feel new to her... it felt more like... renewed. But it was a lot different than before too. Only a few minutes ago, she had been sure Kaige hadn't changed. And now... she was almost happy he hadn't changed. She loved Kaige for Kaige. If he felt like he had to hate himself, she was just going to have to prove to him that he deserves more.

She blinked, but didn't move. She wanted to stay with Kaige, to keep her arms around him. "I um..." She swallowed. "I love you Kaige Omenstar. If... if its not too much to ask... I'd like another chance."

((Crappy post nyeh ))

[nicotardle.]

In another world, this wouldn't be happening. In another world, Kaige would undoubtedly still be the asshole that he normally was. But the question was, why wasn't he being like that now? What was so different now that he himself had to be different? Maybe it was because he thought he had to be, or maybe it was because he was tired of being the jerk that everyone in the past knew him as. He wouldn't change completely, no. He would still be the stubborn, opinionated, loud mouthed fool that he was, but he wouldn't be as extreme. The times had changed and he needed to change with them.

He felt Salena move closer and he made no objection to it. Of course, if he were to make a fuss about it, he would be an idiot considering what he was doing at that moment. Speaking of which, he was still unsure of why he was allowing all of it to happen. It didn't seem totally wrong. It was definitely different, but nice in a way. He supposed he could get used to it, but he didn't know where this left them. He hadn't thought that far ahead. Her pulling away finally was probably a good thing. Now he had time to clear his head and think. His gaze dropped to the side, avoiding looking at her. He had a feeling what she was going to say next and right after he assumed it, she said it.

"I don't... really... I, uh..." It was hard for him to get the words he wanted to say together. He didn't want to see like an ass. "This will all just seem like I'm leading you on if I go ahead and say no, but if I say yes, it'll seemed forced to me." He paused, going through his mind to try and find the right thing to say. He knew what would be right in her mind, but when it came to his, he wasn't sure. "I'm just not really... sure about anything right now. I'm not really sure about myself... if that makes sense." He began to pick at the fabric covering his legs, trying to buy himself some time. "I'm not trying to be an ass or anything, so I hope you're not thinking that. I don't have anything against you, I really don't. I know it sounds like I'm just making up excuses. I promise I'm not. I'm just... I..."

His words fell to an end, his sentence incomplete. He knew what was holding him back, he just didn't want to admit it. He didn't want to admit it to anyone because it seemed both childish and embarrassing. The only thing holding him back was himself. And Kaige, well, he was afraid of falling in love again.

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[::WOLFURchik::]

Salena didn't back off, not just yet. She took one hand and ran her fingers through his sloppy ponytail. She preferred it down, she thought to herself, then blushed afterward. She was still a little confused herself, it was weird being human. Even weirder was kissing a human. Weirder still was that this human was Kaige. But... it was a good weird.

She leaned her head in and rested her forehead against his. Her heart was throbbing, but her breathing was calm and collected. "I... understand." She finally spoke, softly, almost a whisper.

Normally, she would have taken this as a back off, and probably would have run home crying. But the more time she spent with Kaige, the more she realized that she was not that person anymore.

Salena was over one hundred years old now. You certainly couldn't tell by looking at her... she looked very young, around the age of just seventeen. It was weird watching people age... it was something that secretly grossed her out. She was glad she didn't have to go through that herself, but it always made people curious as to why never aged.

But over the years, she had learned a few things. Patience was one of them. She sighed, and backed away from Kaige. She still sat herself right infront of him, on her knees, but she took her head away from him, as well as her hands, which she placed innocently in her lap.

"I understand..." She said a moment later. "I've waited a hundred years-I can wait a bit longer. You don't have to make any decision right now." She looked away from his again, this time distracted by faint movement in the grass. "But... I'll make you this promise now. And... please keep in mind that I am NOT a liar." She reminded him.

She turned her eyes back to his. A tear escaped her eye and slid down her cheek, but Salena wasn't quite sure why it was there. She quickly reached up and smeared it.

"If you give me another chance... I promise, I will never leave you again. Not for anything."

[nicotardle.]

This was the closest Kaige had been to somebody in years. He flinched slightly, mainly because it startled him, when her head came in contact with him. His body tensed slightly and he frowned. He was still getting used to everything and it was definitely strange. Even stranger was her reaction to him somewhat turning her down, if you could call her that. He was surprised she didn't blow up on him or take off. Maybe she was changing like he was. Either way, it was nice, for once, not to have to yell at her or have her yelling at him. Maybe things would be different this time around.

"Well.. that's good," he said slowly, absentmindedly running a few fingers over his cut. He still needed to tend to that, but it could wait a little while longer. "I just don't want to make any rash decisions or do something I may end up regretting." He looked at her a moment, his expression thoughtful, then turned his gaze elsewhere. "That sounds kind of stupid... worried about making a bad decision or regretting something." He shook his head and folded his hands in his lap. "I wasn't ever worried about those things before. I just did whatever seemed right at the time." He looked up to the treetops and half laughed, half snorted. "I must be getting old or something... too worried about taking risks." He sighed and his shoulders slumped. Perhaps being human changed his views on things. Maybe he was turning into a coward.

He heard her speak again and what she said made him frown and his expression darkened slightly as if a shadow had passed over him. He didn't say anything for awhile, just sat there silently with an odd look, his eyes glassy. "I...," he spoke up, pausing in his words, "I'd like to believe you," he said, his expression now void of everything. "But... the thing is... I don't know if I can."

[/blockquote]

[::WOLFURchik::]

Salena frowned.

She knew there would still be trust issues, how could there not? But, still... hearing it made her flinch. She knew with all her heart that she didn't want to mess this up. She wanted to be with him. Any time she had away from him was torturous... she couldn't leave him if she wanted to.

Then she glanced down. Did she even believe her promise? She knew in her heart that she wanted to stay with him, but how could she control outside influences? What if somebody attacked her again? She bit her lip, her heart pouding with fear. What if she had made this promise, but she died? Or was left tyed up somewhere? What if someone else came along and screwed it all up like they had done in the past.

Her eyes narrowed absentmindedly. She wasn't going to let that happen. She wasn't weak anymore. She would fight.

And besides all that, she was human now. All the wolves that once had a hit on her were left back in the forgotten forest. Nobody but Kaige knew who she really was. This was a new life, a fresh restart. She could make it work, she was sure of it. But she couldn't just tell Kaige... she had to show him. She had to show him that she would be there. She wanted this so badly.

"Kaige!" She said, snapping out of her thoughts, as if she just realized she had been making out in a deadly forest with Kaige's arm slowly rotting off. "You should get your arm taken care of..." Slowly, she stood to her feet and brushed the dead leaves from her jeans.

She looked back at him and smiled, just slightly. It was the first time she had smiled since..... she honestly did not know when. "I promise." She repeated herself, lost for words. She would prove it to him. She cared about him too much to let him go.

[nicotardle.]

Kaige wanted to be able to believe her, but it wasn't easy to forget past events. And while he understood it was all in the past, it was hard to trust her when it came to that. She had disappeared and reappeared one too many times - why would this time be any different? If only he had the ability to look into the future instead of just getting to see bits and pieces of it at random points of time. Then again, where would the fun be in that? He shook his head to himself, muttering something under his breath. He didn't really want to know what the future held. Let it all be a surprise.

So why not take another chance this time? He was all about that before, why not now? What was the point in living if you weren't going to take some risks? Maybe he had taken enough risks, but there wasn't exactly a capping point on them. If it turned out to be a mistake, he would just have to learn from it. But hadn't he learned from them before? He thought he had, and that's why he was so reserved, but maybe it didn't matter anymore. Still, though, he had his doubts and they were starting to get to him and eat at his mind. He didn't want to do something only to end up in the same situation as before, but then again...

He was jarred from his thoughts when Salena said his name. He looked over to her quickly, thinking there was another one of those mutant spiders or maybe something worse, but saw nothing. "Oh," he said, looking down to his arm. He half shrugged. "It's just a cut... nothing bad has happened to it yet. It's not bleeding." He had forgotten about it momentarily, too caught up in his own thoughts and what was going on. "It'll be fine. I've had worse."

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[::WOLFURchik::]

"You still should get it taken care of..." She mumbled quietly.

Blood was one of those things she had been quite used to. She had fought numerous times. She even had to kill her own sisters. She had seen wolves being ripped to bits. She had seen injuries a million times before. But this was a new world. Since becoming human, she hadn't seen anything worse than a minor scrape. It just made her worry a little more than she used to, but it still wasn't a big deal. Maybe it was because she had never seen a human with such an injury, or maybe it was because she had never seen Kaige injured...

She sighed. She didn't know how to feel at the moment. After all that just happened... the fight just mere minutes ago felt like it had been years ago. Was she relieved? Maybe a little, but there was still something bothering her... She cracked a tiny smile. Things were a lot better than they were before... she hoped it would last.

She finally brushed the blue streak from her face, tucking it safetly behind her ear. Her bright eyes twinkled in the sun light. Salena had a very innocent looking face- wide eyes, a cute little nose, and soft, slightly chewed lips. Her complextion was rather pale, but flawless, except for the dirt she seemed to have aquired in the forest. Her strapless top hugged her confidently, while her nimble shoulders flowed into smooth, elegant arms. She was thin, but a closer look would reveal her muscular build. She looked both timid, and sturdy... and over all, it looked good on her.

On one hand, she sported a wing tattoo that wrapped around her wrist and signified the freedom she had ever longed for. On the other, she wore a few average looking rubber bands, which cloaked the old, healed over scars that came from months of cutting.

Sometimes, Salena enjoyed being human. With her new hands, she could do so much more. Guys practically flocked over her. Ofcourse, she had been beautiful when she was a wolf too, but any males that might have found her attractive were turned off by how frail she was. She couldn't hunt to save her life, she couldn't fight... she was completely weak. Ofcourse, that was until she had given up a life to become Mori, but, that was a long story...

One thing about humans that she couldn't stand- it was a lot harder to tell what one was feeling. She hadn't gotten used to reading facial expression quite yet, and many people were good at hiding them. Their ears didn't flicker if they were upset, nor did they have any sort of tail to give away their emotions. Most of the time, she just guessed.

And so ofcourse she was curious about what was going on in Kaige's mind... just what exactly he was feeling. Was he feeling the same way about her that she was feeling about him? She wasn't sure. She could only hope...

"We should probably get out of this web anyway..." She looked around. Behind them, she could still faintly see the dark green body of the spider that nearly killed her... If their were more of them, sitting here like a couple of trapped moths probably wasn't the best idea.

[nicotardle.]

"I appreciate the fact that you're worried about me and all." Kaige paused and thought about it. "Well, maybe you're worried about me, I don't know, but I'll be fine," he said, sounding a little exasperated as he pushed himself up to a standing position. Leaves and small broken pieces of twigs clung to his khaki colored cargo jeans that were just the right amount of baggy and snug. He brushed the debris off with a few swipes of his hand, though it didn't do much good. The fabric was stained with smudges of dirt, but it wasn't a big deal. He wasn't a debutante. "It'll heal up on it's own. Really. It's fine. All that'll happen is I'll have a new scar to add to my collection. It's not a big deal."

Kaige had gained many scars over the years, most of which he had received during his wolf years. He thought that maybe becoming human would erase them, but alas, they were bound to him. There were a few nicks here and there on his face and forehead, but nothing noticeable. He had a few across his back and shoulders and some scattered across both arms and legs. The most prominent one, though, was the rather large, jagged one that began below his right ear lobe and ran down across his neck and ended at his chest, the one he had received from Thanatos when the two killed each other. He was shirtless and despite the fact that he had bulked up in muscle, it was still visible and still the one thing that stood out like a sore thumb. The only other odd appearance he had to him were his eyes. They were a strange shade of gray with crimson speckles throughout the iris. It was one of the few things that had stayed with him from his wolf days.

He brought a calloused hand up to his hair, once more removing the rubber-band from the poorly made ponytail. It was a tangled, golden mess. It had been awhile since he last had it cut - it was growing closer to his shoulders each passing day. He had no intentions of chopping it all off anytime soon. He kind of liked it this way. A few strands fell across his face as he bent his head down, turning his attention to one of his pockets. A moment later, he took out a package of cigarettes and pulled one out, placing it between his lips. A second later, he pulled out a lighter and lit it. "Don't even say anything," he said to Salena as he turned his body to the side. "I know it's bad." He had never had any real intentions of smoking, it was just something he picked up one day and it stuck with him ever since.

He stood there absentmindedly, making sure to keep any smoke from his cancer sticks away from her general area. Of course, they were outside and he couldn't keep all of it away. He watched her out of the corner of his eye, sinking into the ocean of thoughts in his mind as he worked on finishing his cigarette. He was slowly becoming used to seeing her like this. It was still strange, but it was nice. Maybe even a little nicer then being a wolf. She was nice looking in a different way now, but he would never admit that to her. Thinking of that caused him to laugh quietly to himself, though he wasn't sure why.

"You're wondering what I'm thinking right now," he said as he finished up his smoking session. He turned back to face her, a sly grin lighting up his face. "I can tell." He crossed his arms over his bare chest and leaned back on his heels. "It always was hard to tell with me, huh?" he asked, raising a brow. Truthfully, he didn't really know what was going on in his mind either. It was a puzzle of different thoughts and memories. He turned to look at the web, then at the dead spider, then back to her. "I suppose," he said with a shrug. "I don't really know if I can take another beating if something else decides to make a meal out of you."

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[::WOLFURchik::]

Salena shot him a sly glare, but she smiled. She really, really missed his sense of humor... it was really good to hear. It reminded her of the rare moments they had years ago when they were together.

"I said thank you for saving me, right? Well, thank you, again." She chuckled ever so slightly, looking down at the ground as she began walking, marvelling at the effects of the web on the forest. Most people would have found walking in a giant spider's web disguisting, but she really was fascinated by it.

She glanced over to see if Kaige was coming. She wouldn't have put it past herself to have imagined the whole thing in the first place. She didn't speak up about it, but she hated knowing that Kaige was smoking... it was a disguisting habit really. She never could understand how people could just inhale smoke and tar like that... no wonder smoking caused so many problems in people. She made a disguisted face just thinking about it.

"Kaige... I know you can't... totally trust me yet..." She said, frowning again, watching the ground below her feet. "But..." She sighed heavily. Everything within her told her to slow down and just say 'nevermind.' But she had to at least ask...

"Maybe we should try... like..." She never felt so akward. "A date, or something?" Her cheeks flushed with embarassment. "Nothing special! Just, hang out? We could go eat, or um..." She looked over at him, hoping he wouldn't just burst out in some sort of laughing fit.

She tried to think of a good spot to go. She didn't much care for crowds, so any restaurant was out of the question. "What about a picnic?" She laughed to herself. It sounded rediculous, even to her. But... it also sounded kind of, fun? "A midnight picnic... by the lake?" She bit her lip out of nervousness. 'pleeeaaasseee.' She pleaded within her own head.

[nicotardle.]

"Uh... yeah, I guess...," Kaige replied slowly in reponse to her question. "I guess I can do that..." He knew he didn't sound too enthused, but he wasn't doing it on purpose. He didn't know where things were going to go, but he hoped she wasn't going to get her hopes up. He needed time to think about things, time to figure stuff out for himself. "I just need to get cleaned up some... get this cut washed up..." He nodded to himself as he walked, shoving his hands in his pockets. "But I guess I'll see you there then?" It was more so a question than a statement. He had his doubts that she would show up, but could you blame him?

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